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You never felt that you lived up to your father’s expectations — that he thought you were fat, that you made him ashamed. When did you stop seeing yourself through his eyes?
I think when I married Vadim in my 20s, and then I became Vadim’s girl. I wanted him to teach me how to be a woman, and he taught me to be a female impersonator. Oh, it’s kind of a flippant way to describe my trying to be what he wanted me to be. But I don’t regret the marriage at all.
Is that when you came to believe in your own worth and beauty?
No, no, no, that didn’t happen until I was in my 60s. I’m still a work in progress. You know, when your father doesn’t show up for you or isn’t able to really show you that he loves you unconditionally, then you spend a lot of your life trying to be lovable rather than authentic.
Your stance against the Vietnam War continues to inflame. Last month, protesters gathered at the Traverse City Film Festival, where Michael Moore gave you a lifetime achievement award.
There was a veteran inside the theater who stood up, and I thought, “Well, O.K., let him say his thing, and we will talk, and that will be cathartic for both of us.” But instead, he said: “If I had a Congressional Medal of Honor, I would present it to you. I am so grateful that you helped end the war.” It was very, very beautiful. The men and women who were outside were extremely well behaved, and I just feel badly that they don’t understand the war. Because if they did, and they understood what was true then, I wouldn’t be the lightning rod that I am. It would be the series of presidents and administrations, both Republican and Democrat, that they would be angry at, because we were lied to.
What’s the focus of your activism today?
Grass-roots organizing. The organizations that are going door to door and helping people understand that the white working class is not the enemy of people of color, and vice versa. That we have to stand together against a common enemy, which is people that only care about money and power and don’t give a hoot about average Americans.
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